All Mothers Lie

Mother: (enters two-year-old's bedroom) Why, child, you're swimming!
Child: I wet. I drink lots!
(Mother undresses child and piles all sodden clothes onto sodden sheet and sodden mattress pad)
Child: (throughout process) No! Want jams!
Mother: But your jams are wet. Do you want to be cold and wet all morning?
Child: Yes.
(Mother starts dressing child in shorts and shirt)
Daytime Jams!

Child: (crying) No! Jams! Jams!
Mother: (smiles sweetly) Oh, but these are jams. They're daytime jams.
Child: (thinks) Oh. (smiles) Okay!
Sneaky Mommy.

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